ICPR Abstracts: Session 30

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Session 30: Symposium

Positive and Negative Aspects of Relationships

Integrating the Positive/Negative Distinction
in Adult Parent/Child Relationships

Karen Fingerman
Pennsylvania State University

The field of gerontology has generally treated parent/child 
relationships in later life as though there were two distinct 
types of relationships--positive and negative.  An emphasis 
on positive relationships stems from the sociological 
literature addressing family solidarity in adulthood. This 
research has emphasized the emotional benefits that older 
adults and their offspring derive from their relationship, 
the sustained contact between generations, and the 
exchanges of aid that take place. By contrast, a separate 
literature appears to address stresses and strains between 
parents and offspring, notably in situations in which 
offspring serve as caregivers to their frail or dependent 
aging parents, or in more rare instances involving elder 
abuse. This dichotomy in the study of parent/child 
relationships fails to inform an understanding of the 
complexities of parent/child relationships, particularly 
when parents are still healthy. Clearly, there are negative 
aspects of relationships that are marked by "positive" 
features, such as frequent contact and strong emotional 
bonds. In fact, throughout life, parents and offspring who 
have strong relationships may experience negative, as well 
as positive emotions. Indeed, intense ambivalence may 
mark the strongest parent/child relationships in adulthood. 
For example, in early life, secure attachment is considered 
to be marked by behaviors that involve the infant's 
approaching and pulling away from the parent, not 
clinging to the parent. In a like manner, offspring and 
parents who maintain their relationships despite a struggle 
with negative feelings may have the strongest relationships 
in adulthood. An increased understanding of the nature of 
adult parent/child relationships might be derived from 
examining how parents and offspring deal with negative 
feelings that arise. 


Positive and Negative Feelings About Siblings

Victoria Hilkevitch Bedford, 
University of Indianapolis,
Paula Smith Avioli, Kean College

For years the child sibling literature was dominated by the 
assumption that this was a negative relationship, a 
byproduct of vying for a limited supply of parental 
attention. Meanwhile, family gerontology sought evidence 
for positive feelings between siblings, attempting to 
document contact frequency, frequency at which siblings 
exchange services and aid, and strength of affectional 
closeness. Perhaps these literatures at the extreme ends of 
the life-cycle got wind of one another, because child 
developmentalists now are examining the positive feelings 
siblings have for one another as manifested in prosocial 
behaviors and caregiving, while gerontologists are 
beginning to take into account the history of this longest-
of-all relationships and the influence of this relationship 
history on the contemporary nature of the bond. 
Demographic changes in longevity highlight issues in 
adulthood that are particularly germane to adults' 
experiences of both positive and negative feelings toward 
siblings; these issues are parentcare and sibling care. 
Their successful enactment require attention to the 
affective experiences involved. We recommend 
microanalytic observational studies of sibling interaction 
as well as longitudinal studies of the evolution of sibling 
scripts for learning how sibling conflict and goodwill 
evolve and change, both as interactive processes and in 
long term memory. 


Structural Predictors of Problematic 
Friendship in Later Life

Rebecca G. Adams, University of North Carolina
Rosemary Blieszner, 
Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University

The existing literature on late-life friendship leaves the 
impression that older adults rarely have problems with 
their friends, with the implicit assumption that when 
friendships develop problems, older adults end them. Yet, 
friendship choice and maintenance are often constrained 
by factors external to the individuals participating in them.  
In this paper, we examine the structural predictors of the 
number of problematic relationships older adults reported, 
including both the structural location of individuals within 
society (i.e., social class, race, gender, education, and 
religion) and the structural dimensions of networks (i.e., 
size, homogeneity, solidarity, and status and power 
hierarchy).
        In our survey of older adults, they described the 
problems that they had with four target friends-- one they 
perceived to be problematic, one with whom they wished 
to be less close, one that was fading, and one which they 
had ended intentionally.  The problems they described 
included internal structural issues (e.g., low solidarity, 
differential status or power, and lack of homogeneity), 
factors external to the relationship (e.g., health problems), 
internal processes (i.e., cognitive, behavioral, and 
affective), and whether they have friends to spare and 
know they can replace any they terminate. 


Sharing Our Lives Together:
Gay Men Report Positive and Negative Features of 
Primary Relationships in Face of the 
HIV/AIDS Epidemic

Kerth O'Brien
Portland State University

Primary relationship processes of gay and bisexual men 
are especially important to understand at this time of the 
HIV/AIDS epidemic.  For example, many men are 
seronegative and wish to remain so; others are seropositive 
and wish not to infect their partners.  In light of these 
challenges the Portland Men's Study sought to further an 
understanding of how gay and bisexual men experience 
their own primary sexual relationships. 
   Self-administered questionnaires were completed by 509 
gay and bisexual men in Portland, Oregon, USA.  Of 
these, 104 men were involved in primary relationships and 
were also considered to be at risk for HIV (for example, 
because of the relationship's short duration, or because of 
seropositivity or unknown serologic status). Men in 
relationships were asked the open-ended questions, 
"Thinking about your relationship, what would you say are 
the nicest things about it?" and, "Every relationship has its 
good points and bad points.  What things about your 
relationship are not quite as nice as you would like them 
to be?" 
   Preliminary examination of the positive aspects of 
relationships indicates that men emphasized love, 
companionship, and happiness in being together.  Though 
subgroup n's were small, seropositive men whose partners 
were also seropositive made more mentions of mutual 
commitment, while seropositive men whose partners were 
seronegative made more mentions of security.  
Seronegative men made more mentions of love and 
sharing.  Negative aspects of primary relationships 
included communication problems, chiefly, and sexual 
difficulties.  Seropositive men mentioned sexual 
difficulties in terms of intimacy or compatibility problems, 
while seronegative men used terms suggesting more overt 
conflicts and disappointments. Seronegative men whose 
partners were seropositive indicated both feelings of 
inequity in their relationships and feelings of emotional 
pain and concern for their partners' health. 


Perceptions of the Positive and Negative 
Aspects of Relationships

David L. Morgan, Portland State University
Karen S. Rook, University of California, Irvine

Most attempts to compare the positive and negative 
aspects of relationships have suffered from limitations in 
the available measures. Ideally, these measures should: 1) 
be multidimensional in order to capture the different ways 
that relationships can have positive or negative impacts; 2) 
be equally comprehensive in tapping both the positive and 
negative domains; and 3) incorporate the perspectives of 
both researchers and research participants. To generate the 
content for such measures, we conducted four focus 
groups, two with returning adult students and two with 
retirement- age adults. Each focus group first generated 
suggestions about the positive and negative aspects of 
relationships and then organized their ideas into 
categories. We conducted a content analysis of these four 
discussions to combine the results into a single category 
system and then compared this to the content of 
instruments in the existing literature. The results show 
that lay participants had different emphases than the 
existing instruments for both the positive and negative 
aspects of relationships. On the positive side, they were 
notably less likely to mention instrumental or tangible 
exchanges, and concentrated instead on the emotional 
aspects of relationships. On the negative side, they were 
less likely to mention outright conflict, and concentrated 
instead on issues of power, control, and manipulation. 
Based on these results, we present a set of measures that 
incorporates the insights of both relationships researchers 
and lay research participants.

Discussant
Rodney Cate
University of Arizona